Ask Dr. Youth
group magazine: May-June, 2011
Ask Dr. Youth is a humor and advice column for those on the front lines of youth ministry. Remember, Dr. Youth is a professional sarcasamist—some advice is sound, the rest is for cheap laughs.
Dear Dr Youth,
Okay, here’s one for you. I have charge of the junior high boys Sunday school class, and right now everything is about Ninjas. He’s a ninja. She’s a ninja. Pass me a ninja donut. (No, I have no idea what that last one is about, but it seems to break them up.) How do I “ninja” the Bible?
Ordinary Mortal in Cleveland
There’s no such thing as an ordinary mortal in Cleveland. I’ve been there. You guys rock. As for your question… Start with the following verses: Deuteronomy 23:14 and 31:15, Exodus 20:21, Job 9:11, Genesis 32:25, and ninja your way over to the New Testament for 1st Thessalonians 5:2. Oriental Trading Company has small ninja figures in large quantities (they’re awesome). Buy a pack of those and give them out as gifts for memorized verses or hide the ninjas in the building and challenge your teenagers to find them. Excuse me while I now disappear in a puff of smoke.
God Has a Sense of Humor
Dear Dr Youth,
We’re heading into fund-raising season. Last year we had an incident at our car wash—it wasn’t really an incident so much as it was an indecent. Two of my girls showed up to the car wash in attire that was not appropriate. I can put a “must wear one piece bathing suit” on the forms but there are some one-piece suits that are quite revealing. It doesn’t seem to be a big deal to the kids (or to some of the customers) but a few (loud) church members seem to raise a fuss. Any ideas?
Bart in Washington
Have you considered a bake sale? I know it must be hard to get all the washing done. (Washing done…get it? Like Washington...? Okay, never mind.) Have the car wash be more formal. Literally. All students must show up in suits and dresses. Thrift stores have cheap suits. Church members have old dresses to give away. Award a prize to the teenager who looks the most dressed up. Every group does a car wash and people drive past. Imagine driving along and seeing two soaking wet teenagers who look like they went to an underwater prom. Your kids will get a laugh and your congregation will be happy.
God Has a Sense of Humor (even when congregations do not)