The Totally Tubular Tale of Biff, the Prodigal Son - Skit
group magazine: March, 1992
From: March 1992 GROUP Magazine
Keywords: Skit Prodigal Son
A Quick Skit
The Totally Tubular Tale of Biff, the Prodigal Son
The teenspeak version of the classic parable.
BY GREG TOLLE
You won't find this version of the prodigal son parable in your Bible (if you do, check your translation). But that doesn't mean this "tubular" version is stripped of meaning-you'll get all of the meaning plus lots of laughs. Use this skit as part of a church service, a youth group meeting or a retreat-any time you want a fun way to illustrate God's love and forgiveness.
Narrator: A good reader. Wears a suit, looks professional.
Farmer Bob: A real hick with a Shakespearean background. Wears overalls, a straw hat and no shoes.
Penelope: A whiner, the favored child. Wears mis-matched clothes and her hair in pigtails.
Biff: A surfer dude wannabe. Wears sunglasses on top of his head, brightly colored jams and a T-shirt.
Chorus: Anyone in the cast who is not on stage.
Cabby: A New York kind of guy. Wears a cap and a black leather jacket.
Jacket Seller: A real salesman. Wears a suit and a bright, flashy necktie.
Rich Man: A male with money. Wears fancy clothes and jewelry.
Rich Woman: Rich Man's wife. Wears similar attire.
Note: If you have fewer than eight kids in your youth group, Penelope and Farmer Bob can double as Cabby and Jacket Seller or Rich Man and Rich Woman.
In addition to the costumes, you'll need a podium, two chairs, a bag of coins, a jacket, a Time magazine, a paper cup and a camera.
Narrator stands stage right behind a podium. Farmer Bob, Penelope and Biff stand center stage with their backs to the audience. Make a taxi cab by placing two chairs stage left, single file, facing stage right.
Narrator: Welcome to "The Totally Tubular Tale of Biff, the Prodigal Son." Our story begins like this. In a small town somewhere between California and New Jersey there lived a farmer who often said things like:
Farmer Bob: (Turns around.) Howdy. I'm Farmer Bob.
Narrator: Farmer Bob had two kids. The older one was Penelope. She often said things like:
Penelope: (Turns around.) Gee Dad, isn't there some more work for me to do on this swell farm? I love chores. Can I be a farmer when I grow up? Can I? Huh? Can I?
Narrator: And she meant it. The younger one was Biff. He often said things like:
Biff: (Turns around.) Hey, dudes! I want out of this cheesy place so I can see (laughs) The Big City. I want to party it up on a Surfing Safari.
Narrator: And he meant it. So one day Biff asked his dad:
Biff: Yo, Dad. Could I have a little advance on my allowance?
Farmer Bob: Yup. How much do you need, son?
Biff: Oh, about 20 years' worth. You see Pop, I wanna see the world-or at least the beach. I just can't catch a gnarly wave in the cow pond. I'm not cut out to be a (quickly) ditch-diggin', cow-kickin', chicken-cuttin', food-farmin', over-the-hill hillbilly like you.
Farmer Bob: How can you call me a (quickly) ditch-diggin', cow-kickin', chicken-cuttin', food-farmin', over-the-hill hillbilly? We live on flat land, son. (Dramatically) Hark! How thou breaketh my heart! But if that's your wish, then so be it. Here's your share of the farm. (Hands Biff a small bag of coins.)
Biff: Wow! How'd you fit half the farm in here, Pop?
Farmer Bob: I truly hateth to see this happen to you, Biff. I hate to see an innocent boy transformed into...(Dramatically) The Prodigal Son.
(Cabby enters stage left and sits in the driver's chair.)
Chorus: Honk! Honk!
Biff: That's my ride. Later days, dude! (Biff gets in the cab; Farmer Bob and Penelope exit stage left.)
Cabby: Where to, Mac?
Biff: The Big City and hurry! (Cabby and Biff pantomime a wild ride, throwing themselves back, then right, then left and finally forward as the cab screeches to a halt. Chorus provides sound effects.)
Narrator: The first thing Biff wanted to do was buy some flashy clothes. (Jacket Seller enters stage left holding a jacket. Biff exits cab.)
Jacket Seller: (To Biff) Attention sidewalk shopper: need a jacket?
Biff: For sure! Sell me something expensive.
Jacket Seller: (Handing Biff a jacket) It's $780.
Biff: (Gets money from his pouch.) Here's a thou; keep the change. (Gets back in the cab. Jacket Seller exits stage left.) Take me to this town's best party place.
Cabby: But it's two doors down.
Biff: Drive me anyway, dude, and step on it. (The cab starts and immediately screeches to a halt. Cabby and Biff lean back, then forward with cab motion.) Keep the motor running. (Chorus enters stage left. Biff exits the cab and says to Chorus:) Cigarettes! Drugs! Booze! Life in the fast lane! Here, dudes, have some money. (Freely hands out cash.)
Chorus: Hurray! All right!
Narrator: Time passed quickly. (Cabby briskly walks from left to right holding a Time magazine.) And Biff's money eventually ran out.
Chorus: (Exiting stage left.) See you later, dude! (Biff tries to exit and sneak past Cabby.)
Cabby: Hey, Mac, you owe me 780 bucks! (Biff shows his empty pockets and coin bag. The cabby points to the jacket. Biff looks sadly at his prized jacket, hugs it, kisses it and gives it to him.)
Narrator: So, Biff was left penniless on the street. (A member of the Chorus throws a cup to Biff. Biff holds the cup, puts on his sunglasses and starts to beg. Rich Man and Woman enter stage left with a camera. Jacket Seller drifts on stage behind them.)
Rich Man: Oh look, Mumsy, a poor man. Let's get our picture taken with him. (To Jacket Seller) Excuse me, but would you mind taking our picture? (Hands camera to Jacket Seller. He takes their picture then places the camera in his pocket and quickly exits stage left.)
Rich Woman: (While couple exits stage right unaware of the theft) See, honey? I told you there'd be poor people here.
Biff: (Takes off sunglasses.) I'm so ashamed. Nothing is worse than this, not even the farm. Maybe Penelope and Pops would take me back as a hired hand. If they only knew what I've been through. Hey, that rhymes (laughs).
Narrator: So, Biff began the long walk back to the farm. (Biff walks in a small circle to the left of the podium.) Seconds became minutes, minutes became hours, hours turned into days, days into weeks, weeks into mon...
Chorus: Enough, already.
Biff: Yeah, I'm dizzy.
Narrator: (Clears throat.) Then he saw his father's farm in the distance! (Biff looks stage left and puts his hand above his eyes.) Then he saw his father. (Farmer Bob enters and mirrors Biff from stage left.) They began running toward each other...(both get into an "on-your-marks" stance and start running)...in slow motion. (Both slow down.) They embrace tenderly and kiss. (They start to embrace but instead shake hands.)
Farmer Bob: Hark! At last my son hath returned from squandering away his fortune. Oh, ye apple of my eyeball, Biff. Servants, bring forth the fatted armadillo. We shall all rejoice.
Chorus: Except the armadillo.
Narrator: And everybody was happy.
Chorus: Except Penelope.
Penelope: (Enters stage left and whines) Father, it's not fair. Biff got to go to The Big City, and I had to clean the stables. When he came back all smelly and broke, you gave him a party. I never left, and you never gave me a party!
Farmer Bob: Look at it this way, my daughter. Biff has learned his lesson and is real sorry now. He was lost and now is found. He was stupid and now he's...better. Besides, he has no inheritance, and you have all of yours.
Penelope: Gee, you're right, Father. I'm sorry I was jealous. I think you're swell, Biff. I'm glad you came back. Now you can help me clean the stables. (They all laugh and embrace.)
Narrator: And that is "The Totally Tubular Tale of Biff the Prodigal Son." (All characters enter, stand center stage and bow.) n
Greg Tolle is a youth minister in Oklahoma.
Copyrightę 1992 Group Publishing, Inc. / GROUP Magazine