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GROUP MAGAZINE - May-June 1998
GROUP’s 1998 Youth Ministry Convention Report
Highlights and quotes that provoke, challenge, and affirm—from Group’s 1998 National Youth & Children’s Ministry Convention in Chicago
By Rick Lawrence
Of all the times that ever were, this is the best time to be a youth minister. Today’s teenagers are more spiritually hungry, relationally focused, and responsibility-oriented than ever before. Youth leaders have more resources available to them than at any time in history. Salaries are higher, respect is more widespread, longevity more common.
To top it all off, mainstream culture is generally in opposition to biblical Christianity—that’s always a plus for commitment and faithfulness, according to the history books.
We’re living in the golden age of youth ministry—the signs are all around us. I saw plenty of evidence at our annual National Youth & Children’s Ministry Convention in Chicago this winter. Every year at the convention, I keep my ears open and my pen scribbling—on the lookout for youth ministry’s rhythms, patterns, tremors, and earthquakes. Through 71 workshops, five extended-length preconference sessions, four keynote speakers, a 100 or so on-site networking groups, dozens of spontaneous discussions, and assorted late-night fun and frolic, here’s what my ears heard and my pen recorded...
•I’m sitting at lunch with a few veteran youth leaders. They’re happy because I’ve just given them a bona fide sit-down meal at a bargain price (free). I’m happy because the most interesting, invigorating discussions in the world involve youth ministry. And when they’re good and stuffed, I ask the most important question of all: "After all these years—given the low pay, long hours, and relational stress—why do you keep coming back for more?"
—"It’s the most demanding thing you can do, but also the most rewarding."
—"I’m most myself in a van full of kids."
—"I just like being with kids."
—"Kids have a hunger for stability and depth—they see the hollowness of culture and want something more. I want to help give it to them."
•"The only answer to pessimism is gratitude. Right now ingratitude corrodes the soul of America."
—General session speaker Michael Medved, host of Sneak Previews and author of Hollywood vs. America
•"Fun out of context is by definition empty. Happiness requires effort and commitment. Unlike fun, happiness can last."
—General session speaker Michael Medved, host of Sneak Previews and author of Hollywood vs. America
•"What are you doing that gets in the way of kids thinking for themselves....Are you there to empower and influence or to control them and make them mind?...Remember, you and I control 50 percent of any relationship we’re in; we influence 100 percent."
—General session speaker Barbara Coloroso, author of Kids Are Worth It
•"I think in the average church in America today, we’re too nice—we want nice kids, coming to a nice program, with nice activities...the problem is, ‘nice’ is not a biblical term."
—Speaker Tiger McCluen, in his preconference workshop "Building a New Paradigm for Effective Youth Ministry"
•"When we become resource-driven, we’re afraid to take risks—we want to wait and see what works for someone else."
—Speaker Tiger McCluen, in his preconference workshop "Building a New Paradigm for Effective Youth Ministry"
•"Most youth workers overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in five years."
—Speaker Tiger McCluen, in his preconference workshop "Building a New Paradigm for Effective Youth Ministry"
•"No matter what the world offers [teenagers], they can never get truth and love. We can give them Truth himself."
—Speaker Steve Fitzhugh, in his workshop "Reaching Unchurched Youth"

•"I want [teenagers] to get the message that there is in sex a paradox: One can experience in sexuality this incredible mystery, sense of companionship, pleasure—or sex can become the razor edge of the power of destruction itself. You play with it, you trivialize it, and it’ll cut you."
—Speaker Rollie Martinson, in his workshop "Understanding Attitudes and Values That Shape Your Kids’ Sexuality"
•Teenagers from Willow Creek Community Church’s Student Impact ministry near Chicago sat down for a panel discussion called "Listening In: What Teenagers Are Really Talking About." Here’s a sampling of what they said...
"Last year I went to a lot of parties. And there’s crazy stuff, not just alcohol. I went to this one party, and there were three guys in suits, with briefcases. I had no idea what was in their briefcases; I don’t think I even want to know, but it was scary. And it’s really scary to think about what these [kids] are doing with their lives."
—Jen, high school senior and small-group leader
"The biggest thing I fear about the future isn’t the day I disappoint God, ’cause God will always forgive you. And it won’t be the day I disappoint my mother or brother...I fear the day where I’m just gonna disappoint myself. ’Cause sometimes it’s so hard for me just to forgive myself for doing something. I fear the day where I just slip—’cause slipping once could mean throwing this whole beautiful Christian life that I have, that I’ve been blessed with, and just flushing it all down the toilet."
—Tulio, high school sophomore
"They relate it to our lives in a way that we can see it and apply it to our lives—anything that we’re struggling with. They show us the way to do that in a God-honoring way—in a way that we’re going to understand; we don’t have to decode it or put it into a different language for us."
—Jen, on why Student Impact works
"I’ve had a lot of students who’ve come to me and said, ‘Tell me straight what can I do and what can’t I do.’ And I think students all over the country want to know that. But we’re just too afraid to say, ‘You really shouldn’t touch her boobs.’ That is what a young man needs to hear, and so what we’re trying to do is just be honest with students. The students you serve right now would be thankful if you would just say that."
—Jen, on talking to teenagers about setting sexual boundaries
•"We tend to link up with people who complement who we are so we’ll be complete. But there are no shortcuts to personal growth! If you try to build intimacy with another person before you have a sense of identity on your own, all your relationships will be an attempt to complete yourself."
—Speaker Les Parrott, in his workshop "Building Healthy Relationships"
•"The older generation was apathetic when they were teenagers because they didn’t know what was going on in the world. Today’s kids are apathetic because they’re overwhelmed by what‘s going on in the world. They have too many options."
—Speaker Les Christie, in his workshop "The Future of Youth Ministry"
•"The Light Bulb model of youth ministry goes like this: The church screws you in, and your light attracts kids like moths. The brighter you are, the more kids are attracted to you. And you keep going until your light burns out. Then the church unscrews you, throws you out, and goes out and buys a new light bulb to attract new ‘moths.’ "
—Speaker Tiger McCluen, in his preconference workshop "Building a New Paradigm for Effective Youth Ministry"
•"Jesus had a long-term focus for his teaching. When he taught, he was thinking 2,000 years down the road. Teaching like Jesus is not about borrowing a technique, it’s about the message we share."
—Speaker Michael Warden, in his workshop "How to Teach as Jesus Taught"
•Intergenerational ministry ideas from Cheryl Slater, in her "homegrown" workshop "Bridging the Gap":
—Set up a mentoring program that links adults to kids throughout their teenage years.
—Plan a Heritage Dinner, where kids can ask questions of older adults about what life was like when they were young.
—Plan intergenerational mission projects.
—Every once in a while, plan a Sunday school game day were people of all ages come together to play.
—Have kids make Valentine’s Day care packages for senior citizens.
—In your worship service, plan time for both kids and adults to share prayer needs with the community.
—Set up a Secret Grandparent program that’s similar to a Secret Santa activity—kids and seniors secretly mail or bring things for each other over a six-month stretch.
—Make sure children and youth are trained to fill leadership roles in the worship service.
—Have senior citizens do the children’s message at your worship service every now and then.
•"Kids are spiritual beings trying to make sense of their lives. And the context in which they try to figure these things out is the circumstances of everyday life. Kids’ spiritual lives are about relationships."
—Speaker Rick Dunn, in his workshop "Spiritual Formation: How to Respond to Tough Questions of Teenage Faith"
•"Kids need reasons to believe. They won’t do what you say just because you’re their teacher. You have reasons—so tell them!"
—Speaker Sharon Jones, in her workshop "The Secrets to Successful Small Groups in Ministry"
•"The best youth workers are one-third kid and two-thirds adult. Never transpose that recipe."
—Speaker Les Christie, in his workshop "The Future of Youth Ministry"
"This is the Ecclesiastes generation; there's nothing new under the sun."
—Jarrett Stevens, pastor in the high school department at Willow Creek Community Church near Chicago, in the panel discussion "Listening In: What Teenagers Are Really Talking About"
•"Parents are so busy, they have no time to get involved in our ministry. They say, ‘Go, do whatever you want.’ "
—Pennsylvania youth minister David Yong-Seok-Yoo
•"Today’s parents are so harried with work, they’re disengaged from their kids. We need to be genuinely interested in what kids are going through because so many parents aren’t giving this to them."
—New York youth leader Ame Kitchener
•"Kids come back [to the youth group] because they find something they like—friendships."
—Ohio Christian Youth Education Director Mike McCall
•"I think the ambiguity of our culture drives kids to find absolutes."
—Tennessee Minister of Education and Youth Phillip Gerrald
•"Last night I got this e-mail from a 15-year-old group member. I asked him, ‘How can a 33-year-old guy relate to a 15-year-old?’ Here’s what he wrote me: ‘Kids who are in high school, they don’t like to listen to any adult who has to lecture or anything, or who uses larger words than they’re used to. Many times people who try and help will make kids feel dumb because of how they say things, how they think, and so on. To be a real friend of high schoolers, be there for them, don’t talk a lot, and think like a high schooler.’"
—Florida youth minister Mike Crawford
•When asked in a workshop, "What does risk look like in your ministry?" a cluster of youth leaders responded:
—"Risk for a youth minister in a growing church translates to saying no."
—"Risk means not overprogramming our kids."
—"Risk means planning intergenerational events. We have an event where senior citizens teach our kids classic dances. And that’s a big risk because we’re Baptists, and we don’t dance!"
—"Risk means not trying to do everything."
•When asked what life skills kids need to know before they graduate from high school, a handful of youth leaders responded:
—Saying no and accepting no as an answer.
—Knowing how to pray and talk about their problems.
—Basic car mechanics.
—Decision-making based on fact, not feeling.
—Skills in relating intimately.
—Knowing how to make and keep commitments.
—Knowing how to set and work toward goals.
—Interviewing skills.
—Knowing how to find affordable housing.
—Conflict resolution skills.
—Food preparation.
—How to find help when you need it.
Rick Lawrence is editor of GROUP Magazine.
Take Note: Next year’s National Youth and Children’s Ministry Convention will be held February 11-17, 1999 in Chicago at the Hyatt Regency O’Hare. For more information, call 800-774-3838.